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Tips for Divorcing a Narcissist in Missouri

Tips for Divorcing a Narcissist in MissouriDealing with a narcissist can test the limits of one’s patience.

If your spouse has been diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), they likely have some infuriating behaviors including a deep need for attention and a general lack of empathy. 

They can also be arrogant, exploitative, and self-centered. 

People who are in the process of divorcing a narcissist will find the proceedings can quickly become expensive, high-conflict, and even traumatic. 

Most narcissistic types will put up a fight, and will create more problems instead of working towards a peaceful agreement.

To survive and get past this uphill battle, careful planning is crucial. Here are some key tips for divorcing a narcissist in Missouri.

1) Document Everything

Narcissists have no problem with lying, prevaricating, and misdirecting. 

They’ll say one thing, and claim something completely different in court. It’s critical to document everything that they say, so that there’s evidence that can prove to be beneficial later on during the case. 

If possible, keep all forms of communication in writing. Record all phone and in-person conversations, including the time, date, topic, and the names of the other people who were around.

Even if you are on your best behavior and trying to get things done quickly, a difficult spouse can make for a lengthy divorce process

2) Avoid Confrontation

Confrontation won’t serve you during the process of divorce. As much as possible, stay calm, level-headed, and rational. 

It’s far more likely for a court to favor someone who stays reasonable and polite. If the ex-spouse sends disrespectful or negative communication, avoid engaging and, if it needs to be answered, be direct and polite.

Never stoop to their level and avoid mudslinging. Getting sucked into their insults and threats will just give them ammunition. Take the high road and avoid giving them anything that they can use in their fight later on.

3) Stay Focused

It’s easy to get drawn back into a narcissist’s orbit. They can easily lie and gaslight their spouse into thinking that they’re the one in the wrong, that their needs are excessive, or that they’re crazy. 

There may also be times that the spouse will start to feel sorry for the narcissist, and get blinded by their emotions. 

However, it’s important to stay strong and think rationally about the consequences of any choice they’ll make.

4) Have a Good Support System 

Even in best-case scenarios, divorces can be extremely emotional. No matter what, you’ll want to have trusted friends and family supporting you through this time. 

There’s nothing wrong with confiding in friends and family members who understand what’s happening and can provide emotional support throughout the process. These people can also provide accountability and focus.

If you don’t already have a trusted therapist or counselor, it might also be beneficial to get one as soon as possible. Keeping one’s emotions bottled up is never healthy. It’s best to have a way to express or vent them.

5) Hire an Experienced Lawyer

A good lawyer will take the time to design a strategy that will protect your rights and interests throughout the entire process. They’ll help make sure that you can quickly disentangle yourself from your difficult marriage, without getting sidetracked or pulled into your ex-spouse’s mind games. 

Our team at Shea Kohl Law understands what you’re going through. We’ve worked with countless clients who want to move forward from complex divorces. 

Contact us by email or at (636) 946-9999 to schedule a consultation.

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Shea Kohl Law, LC serves clients in Missouri including St. Charles, Troy and Lincoln and throughout Warren and St. Louis counties. We also serve clients in Illinois.